Tales from the Abyss Pt II

Words by Charles Kha

As promised, here is another instalment from the weird and whacky experiences of Charles.

Not meaning to offend anyone, but when I was a teen, Indonesia wouldn’t have been a country in my top ten ‘must visit countries’. The numerous travel advisories, terrorist threats and inherent language barrier weren’t the reasons though; it was just that my ideal travel destinations revolved around the automotive meccas that are Japan and the United States.

And so, when I was told a few years ago that I would be packing my bags and heading off to Indonesia to be the Head Judge of the Indonesian franchise of the Auto Salon shows, I have to say that I was moderately surprised. Beyond the white sands of Bali’s beaches, my knowledge of Indonesia only extended to the weeknight cuisine I’d eat with my old housemates in Sydney’s suburb of Kensington.

Indonesia has a car scene? Like, really? I had heard from some of my Indonesian friends that their homeland had exorbitant car taxes, poorly maintained roads and insane traffic congestion; three things that pointed quite firmly against car enthusiasts investing in vehicular interests. Regardless, I’ve learnt to never look a gift horse in the mouth. At the end of the day, a holiday is still a holiday. If it’s paid for by work, even better.

My partner in crime back in those days was Jarrett Pinksterboer, who worked alongside me as Auto Salon’s Judging Coordinator for four years. Both of us, in all honesty, were picturing a dream getaway: resorts, lazing on the beach, plenty of shopping and all for just a weekend’s worth of scrutinising cars. It was a win, win, win, and win situation.

Regular readers of Kha Control will know of my inherent bad luck (and my pessimism towards everything ever since realising nothing ever goes right), and so you’re right, I jinxed it before I even boarded the plane. However that’s not to say that things didn’t start off brightly. Singapore Airlines is always an enjoyable flight – thanks to nice eye candy stewardesses and actual edible food – and so we landed in Changi airport with a spring in our step. According to the display screens, we had ample transit time to make our connecting flight to Jakarta where we would then meet the local rep to be driven to the city of Bandung where the show was held.

For those new to Changi airport, here’s a lesson: it’s bigger than it seems and airport staff can be righteous c*nts if they want to. After picking up a couple of grilled sandwiches (Jarrett, you know this was your idea not mine!) and realising that our gate was nearly a kilometre away, we made it to the check-in just as the boards were announcing the final call for our flight.

Perhaps angry that we had stopped to pick up a bite to eat (alas the evidence was still in our hands) rather than diligently getting to the gate when boarding began, the Singapore Airlines staff member decided that we were too late to board. Irate and yelling at us for being way too late (although they had just checked in the person in front of us), she slammed the gate door shut and said our baggage will be removed from the plane. We were, to say the least, dumbfounded, especially since it took them a good 20 minutes to locate our bags and get them off the plane. Had they just let us on the plane we’d already be squashed up in economy with a screaming child next to us, high up above Singapore’s wonderful cityscape.